duhduhduh personal note: skip

just finished suzy, led zeppelin, and me. i found myself relating to the main "character" as the book progressed. i've never connected to a character quite like martin. is it silly that i connect with an adolescent boy character? does it confirm that i'm just dog-paddling to stay afloat? you've only lost if you've given up. correct?

it's a strange time. i feel like i'm an extra in the film of my life. the audience clearly decided to focus their attention elsewhere.
bored with everything, happy with nothing. could this be the post holiday blues?

honestly,

it's almost the end of the year, and you know what that means!

new years resolutions:

to fit into cute clothes. srsly. i've been slacking and as a result i've turned into a balloon. it's not good. drastic measures must be taken.

say bye bye to lame friends. love me or hate me.

make more genuine friends.

travel. oh i think you know where.

i've been absent, but not for much longer!

you can check me out here:

http://pre-vogue.tumblr.com

AND

http://wecrimpshapes.tumblr.com


happy holidays. i will return very soon. oh yes!

eek!

i'm having a small dilemma. a friend of mine is getting married in 24 days, and she wants me to be the maid of honor. i have my choice of buying a black or a red dress.
(gonna go with black) the problem is i don't want to spend a lot of money on this dress because who knows when i'll wear it again.
i was thinking a party dress would be perfect, but i don't know if she will be that accepting. i don't want to buy anything boring, and i know i won't be this HUGE forever. (that's another blog post for another day)

fun, conversative, and semi-cheap? i'm ready for the challenge.

cute and i want:

obsession: dec 8

rodarte for target.

i love this. i want this. i had dreams of this. (for reals)

saturday night choice.

obsessed: nov 22

vv find:

i can't believe i almost bought this. it's so hideous that i love it. stripes and shapes. the shoulder pads MADE it. i should have bought it.... altered it. done SOMETHING with it. only $3.50, but then again i would probably have to be driving a mini van and obsess over doogie houser md.

vote saxon: inspired by the master as portrayed by john simm

vote saxon by monthone featuring Miss Selfridge

glitter hobo: inspired by KTN b!

glitter hobo by monthone featuring Tory Burch shoes

stylish librarian: inspired by becca.

stylish librarian by monthone featuring LeSportsac bags

lady gaga vs. sarah palin

lady gaga vs. sarah palin by monthone featuring Dorothy Perkins

opposites attract.

i can run from zombies too: inspired by nightmares

i can run from zombies too. by monthone featuring Dorothy Perkins shoes

doctor's companion:

doctor's companion by monthone featuring Andrew Gn tops

Items in this set:
Andrew Gn blouse, 210 GBP
Warehouse.co.uk skirt, 60 EUR
Peacocks.co.uk coat, 40 GBP
Natashascafe.com flats, $21
Lunacyboutique.co.uk ring, 5 GBP

not your typical breakfast: inspired by b.

cute && cheap finds:

1: zip peep toe booties $29.80 @ forever 21
2: chiffon tiered dress $24.99 @ charlotte russe
3: funnel neck coat $44.75 @ old navy

futuristic prostitute: inspired by jedward.

futuristic prostitute by monthone featuring Jessica Simpson shoes

Items in this set:
Newlook.co.uk jacket, 35 GBP
Oli.co.uk skirt, 39 GBP
Delias.com top, $27
Jessica Simpson shoes, $90
Moschino glove, 66 EUR

little thoughts.

so this post is going to be a bit mixed up. it's going lots of places, but it's just my thought process.

11 days until new doctor who special. ( i really don't want to see DT leave! the new guy has no eyebrows. CREEPYVILLE!)

16 days until new moon. (give me shit right now. i'm ALMOST expecting it. pretty, sparkly, and british...it's just calling out my name.)

21 days until the xx and friendly fires. i haven't been to a show in forever. i miss live music.

i was walking around the office with soup on my boob. it wasn't a pretty sight. suggestive? no. sloppy? yes.

i'm ready to power down for the night. i thought i had a bunch more to say, but really i'm just staring at my bed.

10/21

it seems like i've been starting entries with apologies.
never ending. never ending.
gonna throw some current obsessions out for you:

OBSESSED v. 1:

in a heartbeat

i've been neglecting this poor place.
a week! that's unacceptable.
i'm sorry blog. apologies.

today is the first day of fall, but it does not feel like it.
part of me was wishing i would see crunchy leaves and warm coats; however my dreams were crushed.
still hot. still sunny.
i should be emailing my women's culture instructor. I CAN'T BE BOTHERED with that when i'm trying to summon fall to come home to me.

simmmmah down nawwwwww

i just tried to use lotion as hair gel. i can't leave it flat. lotion adds a little kick to it, but i guess the big hair will have to wait.

i'm sitting in my office at 12:30p staring at an open can of diet dr. pepper. half day dreaming about frozen spaghetti and coffee. i keep telling myself that there are only 4 hours left. i'm half way through....blahhh.
BUT it isn't over then. i must trek to the bank to see hot teller man. i am pretty sure if he was english i would jump over the counter like a lion. i wouldn't be taking any money...just ripping clothes.

ANYWAY, my calendar tells me (yes, it talks to me when i want it to) that next tuesday is the FIRST DAY OF FALL. YES! layering galore.

9.2.09 mix

1: music is my hot, hot sex- css
2: black magic - magic wands
3: hard times - patrick wolf
4: hounds of love - the futureheads
5: heartbeats - the knife
6: sticks 'n' stones - jamie t
7: the reeling - passion pit
8: back to the start - lily allen
9: crystalised - the xx
10: a thing for me - metronomy
11: fonz - eugene mcguinness
12: first love - the maccabees
13: ion square - bloc party

oh i've never

i've never tagged a bathroom stall with hearts or with a name. i prefer clues. this summer is never ending. or has it ended? i keep forgetting that september has crept in. i've never scribbled i love you on a bathroom mirror. i want to dress up tonight. where to go? what to do?

all hands on deck!

an afternoon at sea by monthone featuring Vans shoes

random from today:::::

i slept my day away. i woke up with a bruise on my side. there is a burn on my right index finger. the same songs played at starbucks tonight. i wore my boats shirt. i bought the wrong fit of jeans. i used resolve to clean the bright blue carpet. i drunkenly proposed marriage. had a crunchwrap thingie for the first time. i drove the speed limit. i didn't wear socks. i saw a cute boy in a purple stripe zipup. i am obsessed with travis' cover of baby one more time. mcdonalds drive thru people laughed at me.

little adventures

last night after meeting up for late coffee, i made the journey to housesitting # 1. 40 minutes isn't too bad of a drive NORMALLY, yet it was raining like crazy and the scenery is just plain eerie!
didn't sleep well. currently, i am at housesitting # 2. thumbs up for only being less than 5 minutes from my house! the fridge is stocked with tasty tasty beer.
i don't know how long that will last. is 10:30 too early? yeah, that's what i was thinking.
here's to mini vacations and long weekends!

like oh my gosh this stuff is totally hot and whatever:

1: TOPSHOP check mini skirt
2: KITSON rock star women's grey biker jean
3: Be & d harness booties
4: TOPSHOP speckle print jersey top
5: Marc by Marc Jacobs little plaid tee

first the worst...second the best...

I don’t know what a real blog entry looks like. I hope it doesn’t have Frankenstein bangs. That would scare me just a bit too much. It’s not a chore typing this up, but I never know WHAT to say.

My car still has an odd rough idle. I promise you some guy in the next lane of traffic was laughing hysterically at me. I don’t know if it was my music choice or the constant body shaking, but I had to give him a thumbs up.

I keep having romantic comedy dreams. I find myself in romantically crazy dream situations, and I do the movie thing. Who ever does the movie thing? I need to find this gentleman and propose. Propose what? We could draft up a love constitution in which I am totally dressing up as colonial times. Lately, I’ve been a little nervous. It just seems like everyone I know is getting engaged, married, or having children.
It’s strange. Or maybe I just think it’s strange? Maybe it’s really not. It could be the universe’s hint to tell me to get on with life and do what I need to do in order to be happy.
Shit just got real.

Gonna start climbing this invisible rope ladder with a knife in mouth. I deserve everything I desire.

upcoming shows: to which i will end up going solo.

1: arctic monkeys 9/18/09 @ Wonder Ballroom
2: the xx 11/25/09 @ Doug Fir
3: the horrors 10/5/09 @ Doug Fir
4: metronomy 10/11/09 @ Holocene
5: esser 10/2/09 @ Holocene

just found a bunch of cute clothes at indiesin. yummmm.

indiesin has some good stuff. a little shocked.
i really need to learn how to make my own garments.
i'm on it.

last clothes obsession for tonight:

haven't been to urban outfitters in ages, but
i might just have to check this out.

i also want this too:

slowly becoming more obsessed with this piece.
another reason to visit manchester.
me&yu is sassy. loves.

i want this right now:

perfection.
hearts for alexander mcqueen.

17 again (not the movie)

ugh. currently in a food coma.
damn you broccoli cheese soup!
tuesday! what can i say?
another boring day. i'm slowly turning into a hermitess.
(is that even a word?) it sounds much more elegant.
i'm going to use it from now on. thank you very much.

today is my sister's 17th birthday. i immediately feel ANCIENT.
(did i spell that right? spelling rules escape me)
i remember 17 too well. what a silly one.
trouble! trouble! trouble!
(i'm still a bit of mischief, but not quite that bad..)

you know what? i keep waiting for something to happen.
day after day, week after week... i go through the motions waiting
for a great something to happen to change my life.
i still catch myself thinking i'm living in a secret movie.
i still feel like everyone is looking at me.
extraordinary things are up to me. i need to give fate a little bump.

17 was less complicated more 90210. everything SEEMED like a life-death
situation. didn't i know? no. i still don't know.

this ain't no war games...this is my life.

It’s practically 80 degrees outside, yet I’m sitting at the office sporting a beanie and north face jacket. The beanie is non-negotiable. I look like Ursula + Medusa. There are several factors which have contributed to horrible hair day.
1. loud party next door—couldn’t sleep.
2. me pressing snooze over and over
3. falling asleep on slightly damp hair

Oh well, I will just have to stay hidden. Lots of changes are a brewin! I’m hoping for Winter Qtr to be my last at Clark. I need to get out of there and breathe!
I’m considering WSU or PSU. I’m not sure on what direction though. I’m constantly changing my mind on things. History? Film? Fashion? I don’t know yet.

A relative is moving back up to Alaska. I can’t imagine going back there. It seems like a lifetime ago. I was lucky to grow up surrounded by such beauty, yet I feel that I missed out on other things.

I’m ready for a nap. I’m ready for anything.

get it right!

Friday!
I should have more exciting things to blog about, but I’ve been just floating about.
I haven’t washed my hair in two days. IT’S EXTREME for me. I’m turning into Robert Pattinson v. 2.0. Doesn’t suit me. AT ALL.

Last night, I went to Best Buy to look for some albums that I’ve been craving. I don’t miss working there at all. I felt like employees were watching me like I was going to steal ten cds. Yeah right. There weren’t 10 cds worth pinching!
Anyway, I felt like I needed to buy something so I wouldn’t look crazy. Kaiser Chiefs cd. It’s alright. I think I can work it into my rotation soon enough.
Found myself at Target in the little boys clothing section. I did find a cute vampire fangs shirt. I know…I know… what’s with the vampireness? I couldn’t help it. It wasn’t Twilight or True Blood related though. I may be okay to get away with it!

The checkout lines at Target were a little packed, so I just stood there dazing out into space and looking at random gossip magazines. Two dudes end up in line behind me. I peeked into the one guy’s shopping basket and this is what I saw:

A HUGE BOX of condoms
Chewing gum
Axe body spray (Or Lynx if you’re overseas)
A roll of Tums
A tin of Altoids

I don’t want to know what kind of party was going on. This guy had the balls to glare at my purchases! It wasn’t nasty! A t-shirt, Gossip Girl Season 2, a gift card, and a Diet Pepsi. Nothing strange. I mean I guess I could get odd with a Diet Pepsi, but no thanks.

My eyebrow waxer lady messed up my left eyebrow. I look like the Riddler! Like I’m always pondering something. Maybe it’s just me. Ugh.

Had Strongbow for the first time the other night. I think I shall stay away from it. Ended up going to a show that night….let’s just say I somehow ended up on stage and calling Canada. 1.5 hour drunk dial @ .39 cents a min = $35.10. I should just leave my phone at home while going out. I’m usually breaking it or losing other possessions of mine. I think a homeless man in Portland still has my debit card.

I’ve learned my lesson. Stay clean, Don’t drink Strongbow, Keep your eyes on your own Target purchases, and most importantly Don’t wear any green for a good while.

drooling and clothes

i have this huge desire to go out and buy a new wardrobe asap.
maybe just some key elements:
pair of black booties
new pair of skinny jeans
red or black trench coat
party dress
crazy colored tights
random tshirts
marc by marc jacobs umbrella
pair of black heels

that's it for now. i just am obsessing over topshop's new arrivals.

friend breakup

i hate friendship breakups, but there are times where it has to be done.
i'm a fan of the drifter scenario. not answering emails, not taking phone calls, not replying to text messages, and etc.
it's almost like cleaning up your myspace/facebook list. i keep asking myself, "why am i friends with certain people?"
there comes a time when enough is enough.

saturday

this heat is killing me. i like to layer.
boo. i can't wait for autumn. it will be magnif!
probably going to buy my airplane ticket within the next month....which equals a pretty boring clump of months.
i will be taking classes anyways, so the social life will be extra super lame.

in other news, i look far too much into things. gotta keep my head on proper.

my currents:

"i know what exactly what you want from me.."

aahh. it's saturday almost afternoon and i'm sitting here in dr. seuss pj pants.
god, i think i just lost some sort of points for that. anyway, i'm just avoiding starting today.
i don't know why. i'm meeting up with an old friend later. could be cool. will be cool. lately, i've been refriending lost friends. it's an odd feeling, but it's nice. some more nicer than others.

a little list:

there are so many things that i want to do like right now:

+read all the books on my hold list!
+finish school. grrr. i'm such a lazy!
+travel travel travel travel travel travel
+take an hour shower
+not answer the phone
+see all the movies i've been so excited for
(500 days of summer, public enemies, where the wild things are, youth in revolt, hp6)
+take a monster sized nap
+roast some marshmellows
+stop worrying about every little thing
+make a new totebag.

gurgle and such.

this morning, i stepped on the scale. i was a little shocked, but not crazy shocked. today is a detox day 1. the fridge is CRAMMED with water and i'm going BANISH the hell out of pop, caffeine, and sugar. processed foods? DONE. fast food? EWWW and done. alcohol? I will miss alcohol, yet it will be making an appearance every now and then. Dairy? BYEBYEBYE. NO, i don't have an eating disorder. wouldn't i look a lot thinner if i was? come on now.

besides several million trips to the restroom, i'm feeling pretty good. i've done this previously, so i know today will be hell.....BUT worth it.
the piercing has restricted eating and nervous nailbiting. (a plus!)

alone at the office again. not fun. not bad though. singing to myself. trying to remember the words to kissoff.

"Three let me see what you've got, what you're made of, what you're not.."

it feels wrong to update because i'm a little bored, but i need to show this blog a little love.
things currently racing in my thoughts:

*what's up with tie-dye making a comeback? i don't get it. it didn't look good when i was 10, and it looks even worse now.
*i've been wearing more black lately. i think i'm mourning something in advance.
*half my lip is still puffy... i look like i should be drooling all over.
*watched harry potter 1&5 last night...i couldn't help wanting to get someone to hold daniel radcliffe down so SOMEONE could tame those eyebrows. really now, they could start a colony of their own.
*i should really pick up skins soundtrack
*still haven't seen public enemies yet. i need to hurry up on that.
*maybe i should just study abroad....possibly troublesome?
*saw a girl with scary legs.. i wanted to tell her no. no. no. eat a little something and never wear that dress again.
*i feel strange walking down the international foods aisle
*mint waxed floss.
*i think i scare small children
*what the hell is up with sasha fierce? i don't get it? is it like a garth brooks-chris gaines thing?
*i think i'm going to fuck it all up
*i miss writing letters
*this is all for now. ps- lily allen in i-d magazine? OOOH!

i found this under my desk from when i fell asleep on the floor:

if we never talk again
i know i will pretend
not to miss you

for now i will force my hands
not to write a letter(s)
shut you out
shut you in
can we start again?
we could make it better

it's been forever since i posted anything worthwhile.
things on my mind lately:
asics shoes. (totally dreamy black and white)
getting things in order. (dull.)
finally being done with spring quarter!!!!!!!!!

summer is here. i hate it. i really do. i hate the heat and the clothes. i've been lazy in jeans and t-shirts. i've been doing nothing with my hair. it's boring and i suspect it's given up. super short? super mullet? super anything really. itching for something new. i don't know why i get like this. i really do need a vacation stat.

ewww those sulfates.

sulfate free shampoos. i know you're probably thinking how boring! but no no no! it's interesting. i have thick wavy hair which doesn't like many shampoos. either they make my hair TOO dry or don't clean it enough. i used to keep 3 different shampoos on hand to try to trick my hair into submission.
ages ago, a former hairstylist of mine used enjoy products on my stubborn locks. i was amazed! no way! i was fooled into believing that this could only be done at the salon. my hair rarely ever looks salon hot.
i pushed it to the back of my mind, and kept on using boring old shampoo. sodium laureth sulfate and other sulfates that are in shampoos and body washes can also be found in household cleaning products. why would i want to use a cleanser for both my hair and my windows?! yeah, i know. gross. and scary!
i've used several sulfate free shampoos since then, but my favorite is enjoy. it is a little expensive ($50 for both shampoo and conditioner), but the sulfate free organix line can be purchased at target/walmart ($10-12 for shampoo and conditioner). i used the coconut which works like a dream, but i decided to switch it up.
now i need to find a good organic body wash!

nice little post.

been listening to:

lovelikefire

may 68

magic wands


day 2 of sugar/caffeine/alcohol detox is finally over. i've been quite the bitch the past few days. ughh. lots of sleep to follow.
star trek was better than expected. chris pine and zachary quinto were HOT.
finished all the inbetweeners episodes. kinda sad. i need to find a new show! i might try to finish skins up. who knows. i've been picky with tv lately.
been wearing tons of black lately. whats up with that? mysterious!?

"we believe in a land of love..."

just woke up from an amazing dream.
i was back in time and it was the 1980s. secret crush was there and we were running through an old elementary school. the school was built like a house, and i was looking for the nurse's office. i was nicely informed that it was the infirmary. once inside, i began a search for drugs. i couldn't find any, and at that moment the nurse came through the door. i grabbed secret crush and pressed our lips together. "the perfect kiss"--by new order started to play. the nurse began yelling in her sharp accent.
i informed her that i was from the future and threw an electric toothbrush at her. secret crush and i ran back through the hallways.

it was seriously movie magic. damn.
more blog later on entertainment stuff. so much to discuss.

"heartache and happiness in one breath..."

today, i made a mix for a friend i haven't seen in 6 years.

april fools mix.
culling me to sleep- adam denny
out there on the ice- cut copy
turn it up- robots in disguise
this is your life- the killers
hurricane jane- black kids
coldest winter- kanye west
geraldine- glasvegas
electric bloom- foals
when you were mine- casiotone for the painfully alone
spiralling- keane
the con- tegan and sara
use somebody- kings of leon
inside of love- nada surf



i must admit it's a depressing mix. can't help it. you can't hide yourself. it's almost therapeutic. living in tv shows and music can only take one so far.

" i stop breathing then i cried......"

this weekend:
making mixes for various out of town friends (some guilty pleasure songs will be on there. just a little embarrassing)
rearranging of the bedroom. ( taking down old old posters, moving around the bed.)
lots of gossip girl and l word.

oh!oh!oh! shoedazzle emailed me about march's shoe selection. they are claiming that i didn't skip the month. i swear i did. they are all ugly ugly selections this time around. the test isn't too accurate. i guess i just like boring shoes. if my feeties were super cute then maybe i can see myself wearing a open toe wedge. MAYBE.

i really hate the "in-between" stage of dieting. i want to buy new clothes, but i know i won't be this size for long.

my haircut is finally starting to look somewhat normalish. i overheard my sister tell someone that it is a spock cut. okay, okay i can understand that. could it just be to my shoulders like right now? dammit. spock, she-hulk, cupcake, dutchboy!

almost ten.

i find myself in my room listening to music on huge headphones. think gaming nerd. a shiver slowly traces my back and a feeling of wanting to get lost in a new city takes over. wandering streets to find something exciting or perhaps nothing at all.
it is only then that i open one eyelid. still here.

i never did get into gossip girl when it was new, yet i find myself intrigued. netflix informed me that disc one of season one will be here tomorrow. oh watch out.

tomorrow evening, i am going to see night of the comet. i hear it's from the 80s and it involves zombies. instant excitement.
library books to return tomorrow. ughh.

is the nautical look back? i see stripes and boatnecks everywhere.
sea captains would be great.

" i will cut you!!!!!"

THE MIGHTY BOOSH ON ADULT SWIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! march 29th. 1 am.

ny-quil dreams

the weekend was pretty much horrible. i was ill for 90 percent of it!
however, last night i took ny-quil and it took to me like never before.
i had dreams of topshop (which i have never been inside) and other stores i would die to go to. it was the 80s with modern clothing. no perm for me.
i want this coat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

inspiration:

busy days.

i've been absent this i know.
currently in a diet limbo. ughh. pushing it to the back of my thoughts.

paid tuition, so it looks like i have a fortnight to catch up on reading, tv, movies, magazines!!!!!
i've been intrigued by the newest gossip girl commercials, yet i have never watched a single episode. (netflix!!!!!!!)
something about escaping into a world of "perfection" makes it easy for me to enjoy. (thus my love for modeling/fashion/hair reality shows)

wow!

i just came across this. i know, i know. it's that flannelish crap again, but i think this time it's not too overwhelming. @ forever 21 for less than $20! what a steal. you can do so many things with this... black tights, blue tights, no tights, footless tights, skinny jeans, t-shirt, button up shirt, long cardigan. the list is endless.